About to enter my creator era? (The IRONY)

Crazy that in my last post I was kicking and screaming unprovoked about not wanting to be a creator. Now, 3 weeks or so later, I plan to start a YouTube channel and two TikTok accounts, and promote the channel and myself actively on LinkedIn. Crazy. Life is dynamic.

Similar vibes LOL - I don't want to spend more time online but I want to create, though. More creating, less engaging on the apps - how would this work? Let's find out!

I've had these ideas in the back of my head for months to years now - one of the TikToks in particular, has been swirling since 2019, before I even knew what TikTok was. I know, I know, in my last post, I was really railing about not wanting to be a CREATOR in the LinkedInfluencer(TM) way. What has changed since then? 

1) I smell freedom

My green card application is finally progressing. I tell myself not to get excited and I'll believe it when I see it, like, actually have it in my hand, but hope is a special thing. All of a sudden, I'm thinking about streams of income, business ideas, all the things I could do when I am free to travel, to work, and unburdened by the uncertainty and actual restrictions of my current situation. I can smell my freedom and try as I might not to, I'm excited. I'm excited!

2) I read Myleik's "The Shame of Selling"

And you should read it too, it's a short blogpost. Myleik is amazing and everything from her is a call to action. It reminded me that with everything in life, we are selling or being sold to. To sell is human, and to thrive, one must know how to sell. She asks why we feel so comfortable sharing what we consume, while cringing to share what we create? Her reframe: "selling is not begging for attention. It's taking responsibility for your ideas... It's about honoring what you built enough to make sure it reaches its purpose". And she's absolutely right.

3) I've figured out how I want to be useful

Needing a creative outlet but agonizing over whether that outlet has to be online, contributing to the dopamine/ endless scrolling on social media. In my blogging heyday, video was just becoming a staple and I found it so difficult. I refused to adapt to YouTube videos or later, Reels, knowing that I articulated myself best in writing. This is still true. However, in my recent studying, YouTube has been immensely helpful to me. Also, vertical video is just how most people consume anything on social these days. It's just what it is. I want to share actionable tips not for sharing sake, but so that they can be helpful to others, and video would be the most effective way to do it. For them to process it, and also for me. I'll still be writing articles and doing research - writing is the medium for that. But for the points I want to get across on a more direct basis? It would be easier to just speak or do a voice over, than to write and edit an article. I may be overestimating the ease here- video editing is WORK, which brings me to my next thing:

4) In this process, I can learn something new?

I hope pushing myself to create videos will help me get comfortable in front of the camera and work on my speaking skills. Get back into creative communication. I'm already excited about the handles/ branding I will need to develop - and I might finally try this Nano Banana. See how AI can help me do more with getting my website and images together.

5) My thinking re: strategy is evolving

I'm going to be an IP lawyer in this country, doing the cutting-edge, exciting copyright work that I love, in media and technology. I just am. My thinking about how I'm going to get there has so far been from the perspective of working within my constraints: student visa, international attorney, no JD etc and... I'm not one to cut corners, I'm willing to do what it takes, make sacrifices for the long run. The JD vs no JD thoughts demand more than one blog post, I really think it's important to outline this journey and how my strategy has evolved, and is still evolving. I had a thought yesterday: should I really commit to 3 more years of school (and God forbid, debt) before I try shameless self-promotion online for an extended time period? Maybe instead, I should spend the next year running wild and free focused on creating my own opportunities. I'll still apply to things, but the goal should be: what can I do for me? Show up and let myself be seen now that I know how I want to show up. See where that leads. It's all part of the journey, and the lessons I pick up will definitely help me be a better person, attorney, teacher, and, if this is to be, law school candidate.

LFGGGGGGGG!

I hope I can keep this energy up till January. Wish I could bottle this buzz. I'm excited! I'm doing this. Let's go!

I DON'T WANT TO BE A CREATOR

The day I typed this title in caps, I had attended a webinar about how to optimize one's LinkedIn profile for thought leadership. It was actually a really good session, but through it, the thought kept popping up in my head, almost rejecting what I was listening to. I DON'T WANT TO BE A CREATOR. I don't need 10,000 people to follow me on LinkedIn. I want to share insights when I'm actually bursting to make a point, and not find something to say everyday just to keep up with the algorithm. 

I believe we are all born to be creative, so this is definitely not me railing against creativity. Maybe I'm overly personalizing and need to just accept the game as the game. Visibility is key. Personal branding & dat. 

On the other hand, maybe I could embrace it as some creative outlet. An exercise in stepping out of my comfort zone since the idea stresses me so much. Probably overly personalizing again, but if I'm going to do this, I want to figure out a way to communicate value professionally, in a way that is useful to others AND authentic to me. 

On Hustling Backwards

Today, I want to talk about hustling backwards. I worry wonder about this sometimes. 

Here’s a helpful definition from Urban Dictionary:

Hustlin’ backwards: busting your ass without making any progress.

Google AI overview:

Putting in a lot of effort and hard work without making real progress toward your goals, often because the strategies are inefficient or misaligned with objectives.

I take the November LSAT in 3 weeks. I’m already a licensed attorney in the state of New York and I’ve spent about 9 years practising law in my home country, and 1 year in the United States. I say this not just to highlight the mere length of time spent practising (it’s possible to work for years and learn little) but I’ve built quality transferable skills and solid niche experience. I’m also pretty good at networking, business development and just being a normal human being.

I moved to the U.S. for my LL.M (Master of Laws) degree. It cost me everything. All my life savings, my share of my mother’s pension, generous family support, and $30k in debt. Not blindly - a kind gentleman had encouraged me to consider a JD (and I did) but I decided I’d take my chances. No regrets there. I spent that LLM year immersed in the issues I had long wanted to do deep dives in, and it truly expanded my mental world in ways that I should probably talk about in a blog post of its own. While I understood that a JD was preferred, I did not get (really, could not have understood) how weird this country is about a degree that is valid in practically every other country in the world. I expected to work hard to prove myself, not realizing that not having a JD disqualified one from the running in the first place. I also didn’t understand how the system recruited in advance - many of the JDs that graduated the same year already had their jobs a year in advance.

In the book Designing Your Life, they talk about gravity problems. A gravity problem is an unsolvable problem - a reality you cannot change through your own effort. Actually, gravity problems aren’t really problems. They’re just facts of life. The only way to deal with gravity problems is to accept them, and reframe what one can do. My thinking about the JD has evolved. I have gone from rationalizing that I can prove my experience and abilities if only given the chance, to realizing that this is all well and good, but that’s not what firms are looking for. There’s a way things are done, and have been done from time, and this is just the way it is. It is a gravity problem. A fact of life. 

Again - the chances of getting into a law firm without a JD are NOT zero, that’s not what I’m saying. Getting into a firm with a JD isn’t 100% assured, either. It however dramatically increases the odds.

Why am I set on going into a firm anyway? A big law firm for that matter? Those cavernous places that put you through the grinding machine, where everyone is presumably horrible and mean? A few reasons: Law firms are the ideal training ground to gain exposure to best practices, diverse client work, and grow fast. In-house teams ideally want people that already have law firm experience.  Also, wanting to do copyright in the media & technology industry is niche work that is competitive in every market, and mostly done on a high level. Boutiques exist, but many also want you to have big law experience because they can’t afford to train you. And of course, the money (Remember I already spent everything I have?!). 

So. For the path I’ve chosen, being in a firm does matter. Having a JD does matter to firms. Where you got that JD also matters. Accepting this now, how do I move forward? 

At this time, taking the LSAT. I understand that I’m already late in the cycle - November and most likely retaking in January. I only decided in August after I withdrew from the 2-year JD program I was supposed to start. I’m not in an ideal position, but I’ll take my chances this cycle anyway. If I’m not employed as an attorney by June 2026, I’ll evaluate my options with a JD. 3 years feels like a lot of time, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s only just 3 years in what I hope will be a long, illustrious career. 

It won’t be the first time I’ll step back to move forward, but I can’t help but wonder - is this the right thing? 3 more years outside full-time employment - am I better off pivoting and just navigating whatever alternative path opens up to me, that will supply an income? What if I do all this and take on additional debt and I STILL don’t end up at a firm or in an IP position? What will the world look like in 3 years when AI is done replacing entry level associates? I cannot know where I’ll end up, I can only do what’s within my power, which is to try. To think. To pray and hope that I am indeed not hustling backwards. God, abeg.

Thank God for Flowers!

Not my neighbor's flowers! Tulips captured in Millennium Park, Chicago (May 2025)

I recently ended a relationship for personal reasons that aren't relevant to this reflection. Though not the reason we broke up, there was one seemingly small thing in the relationship that came up and was difficult to address, as it seemed trivial, compared to other big things that most reasonable people would agree are fundamental to look out for in a relationship. I'm not minimizing it - it was important to me and I know that's what matters - but I know that it may not be important to everybody, all things considered. So, for the purpose of this post, let's frame it like that. While I stood my ground on it, a part of me felt a little somehow for doing so at the same time. 

Until I noticed a neighbor's flowers for the first time on my morning walk. I'm enjoying making a habit of these walks and I do them phone-free to disconnect, and pay attention to my surroundings. Every other day, I notice something new that I had not seen before. Like the fact that the house next to us has roses. Right outside our front door and I only noticed them a few weeks ago, tsk tsk! While those roses are very pretty, they're not the ones that caught my attention. Going around the corner and seeing a vibrant garden growing on the side of this house made me stop. I'd walked that corner so many times and never noticed those flowers! 

It made me stop and think: God gave us flowers for a reason. 

Yes. You know, I've always found it interesting that in Hollywood's imagination, aliens are scary beings with slime, 3 eyes, 5 heads etc, who want to dominate the earth. That says more about human beings - our fear of what we don't know. It's a wonderful, complicated world we have here on the blue planet, but why would they want us? If aliens have better technology, why would they need to bother us? It also says something about our lack of imagination. What if aliens are beautiful, brilliant and peaceful beyond our comprehension? I imagine they'd be so evolved that they don't even need to poop! 

What does this have to do with flowers, you wonder? Think about it. If human beings created the earth, would we have flowers? If we had to build a new earth like they did on the show Paradise, what would that look like? On Paradise, it was probably optimal just because the billionaire creator lady lived down there. If management consultants advised on building a new earth, I don't think they would give us flowers. Grass, maybe. Trees for shade. Crops for food. If they could figure out how to ensure the ecosystem benefits of pollination or whatever, without growing actual flowers, I don't know that flowers would hold up to the dull grayness of maximizing efficiency. 

God gave us flowers. Tiny beautiful things that catch our eye for seconds, and then we move on from, just grateful that they brightened our days. And that is so delightful to me. In relationships, the big things matter, as do the small, seemingly trivial things that spark joy.

In a world where one isn't coupling for survival, family alliances, or any other sense of obligation (real or imagined), what is the point of getting together for anything less? This is interesting because the older I get, the more of a romantic I become? A decade ago, I was "shining my eyes", worried about making the wrong decision, being very practical in my thinking about what I wanted in a partner or a relationship. Now, if I'm going to hitch my tent to someone's wagon, it cannot be for the practical reasons. Those big things need to work, yes, but our "little things" matter too. 

Thank you to the neighbor whose name I do not know, whose beautiful flowers inspired the reflection that gave me the courage to accept this realization. Life isn't a bed of roses but we still have the roses for a reason, right?

This Sucks - But I Tried and I'm Trying

School starts tomorrow. Not law school, but the other school. I hadn't thought about it much as I've been through the motions - set up a payment plan for this semester's fees, logged into the instruction software to see what the first half's curriculum looks like. Thankfully, it's not as bad as I expected - completing 8 Coursera courses in 8 weeks last fall was MADNESS. With admin stuff out of the way, I guess my mind could finally think about it just before bed. 

Then, the tears came. At my big age. Tears are a helpful indicator of how I'm feeling because they surprise me when they drop, and make me realize that I'm actually sad about something. Revolutionary, right? In this case, sad about the fact that though I have tried, I am still in the same position I was last year. Immigration in limbo, hanging on by a thread with a grad program that I do not need. Not free to work. One full year off the path - not practicing law, not a career break either because there's so much to worry about. For a moment there, I was determined to not be in this spot, and willed myself to be in the JD program I had felt so strongly against doing, but after weighing my circumstances, I withdrew from the JD program I got into (that was also supposed to start tomorrow).

Where does this leave me? I'll talk about this later. Just acknowledging my feelings for today. 

Thankful for the gift of music, and the fact that it has always been able to comfort me. I also have Covid right now, which sucks, and is contributing to my overall feeling of malaise. Theraflu helps, but makes me feel groggy in the morning. Finally up and my encouraging playlist has helped me get going. Holding on again to some of the words that got me through grad school, like "Dupe" by Asake.

What is difficult for you is also difficult for somebody. No dey use emotion, better face your grind and make money.

I'm trying, Ololade. I'm trying.

Shout halle - cos you no get today no mean e too far.

Amen, amen to that.

Signing off as "What Would I Change It To" by Avicii x Aluna comes on.

Steady yourself even though you know that you're falling

Maybe you're falling but you're still alive

Ready yourself that's quite enough of your bawling

'Cause baby you're bawling, but you'll survive...

Cutting corners gets you where you're going

But how you get there is the real test...

Losing is only a sign

It's only a sign that you really tried, really tried

They're right. Not all the time but this time, I really, really tried.

Starting Over

 

I never did write the blog as planned, but my wanting to do so has stayed with me through the years. 8 years since I wrote the first and only post (before now) and 11 years since I first registered on blogspot. Since I never really started, it makes no sense to fill you in on the time that has passed. So, a fresh start. Let's start here.

Who Am I?

I went back to the old bio I wrote and it's still true.

Your learned friend. Lippie loving lawyer trying to slay this Law thing, create, and make the most of my 20s. Wish me luck! 

I'm still a lawyer: even though I have spent the last year unemployed and deep in the dark night of the (professional and to be honest, personal) soul. 

I still love lipstick: I embraced the innovation of lip stains (Sephora Cherry Moon and The Lip Bar Bawse Lady are my fighters), but recently reconnected with Ms Ruby Woo.

I'm still trying to slay this Law thing: dual-qualified now in the U-S-of-A. Starting over here after a decade of practice in Nigeria has been an experience and I'm still finding my feet.

I'm still trying to create: desperately. Experiencing "Le burn-out" for the first time in life really rocked my world. The worst of it is behind me now, and I'm in the process of creative recovery. More about this in a bit, and later.

"Make the most of my 20s" is such a twenties thing to say, in retrospect. Is there anyone out here trying to "make the most" of their 30s? 40s? That feeling of wanting to maximize hasn't left - I still feel harried, like I'm not doing enough - but the good thing about getting older is a little wisdom. I'm now well into my 30s and just trying to do the best I can with my one precious life. The urgency of the twenties is real (and maybe even necessary) but I've lived long enough to have seen myself want things so badly and then change my mind about them. Long enough to lose friends who should still be here, also striving. Long enough to learn that there are different paths, different trajectories that launch well after 29. A part of me still longs for the old, but I can only keep moving forward.

What Do I Want To Do Here?

The most creative I've been in this season of life is making new things with NYT Cooking recipes (though now that I write this, I wonder if this counts?). I want to become a better photographer, like good enough to do it professionally. I go out, I engage with a lot of people's creativity. I want to do all these things but some weeks ago, I decided I wanted a creative outlet for writing again. 

Beauty blogging used to be my creative outlet (writing for a blog and social media) and now I can barely write a LinkedIn caption. Then I channelled that energy into legal writing for a bit, and that was a prolific run if I do say so myself. But legal writing is a career requirement for visibility now, so it doesn't feel as fun. 

Here, I just want to write. Unstructured. I've missed writing. I want a space where I can feel free to just be myself: not polished, not presenting, not for visibility. Write about my experiences figuring out the messiness of life (personally and professionally) and the random things that interest me. Vent when I want to. All in one place. Blog like it's 2010. 

In 2025, I should be on Substack or TikTok but I don't want to be discoverable. Or build a community around my writing. Or eventually offer a subscription. I definitely don't want to pay A CENT to host- yes, freeloader, me. This space? Just for me. Not to be promoted, not caring about SEO or any of the things that are prudent to optimize for on the internet. I also don't want to spend more time on the internet than I already do (But hey, if you ever stumble on this blog or any post while searching for something, I hope what you find is useful. Also, if you need to leave me a comment, I will do my best to reply).

Here, I want to chronicle the journey - the getting there to where I'm going to. And that's just what I'll do.

Hello, Hello! Is This Thing On?

And so it begins. Unceremoniously, as almost all the important things in my life start out.

I registered this sub-domain 3 years ago. THREE. Gosh, I'm old. At the time, I was a corper bored out of my mind, and I knew I wanted to write. I wanted to write something related to Law, anything, anything to stop the slow decay of my brain. Then, I started to overthink it. Another blog?? Who will read it? Blogging is dead, is it not? Maybe Medium is the future? Or Instagram or God knows what else!

Oh well. It's totally okay if nobody ever gets to read this. Blogging might be dead. It's 2017 and I'm still not sure how I feel about Medium. So I'm back to square one, and here's what I'm going to be doing in this little corner of the interwebs:

1. Blogging through the struggle (the highs and lows) of trying to hammer in this thing called Law, for my records. 

2. Breaking down the Law for the benefit of actual human beings and small businesses. Feel free to make requests! *crickets* No pressure, though. 

3. Chit-chatting about other random things as I deem fit- including but not limited to life, lipstick, and rants about Lagos. 

Anddddd that's about it! Hopefully, some of this might interest you (yes you, that has stumbled on this blog by some act of fate) and hopefully, it won't take me another 3 years to write my next blog post, haha.

Talk soon,

Lippie Lover

xx